Wednesday, August 31, 2011

summer conspires against me!

I think the entire summer has conspired against me this week and planned a cruel joke to all hit me at once! I am exhausted and in a mental  fog this week.   I had several "good weeks" this summer.  I know that it always means, I will pay with several "bad ones", yet I still find myself asking Nate, "do you think I am going to be OK?".  He reminds me again and again of how busy our lives have been and how well I have done through it.  I believe him, but I still ask "am I okay?" Poor Nate! Today, I went to work, talked as little as humanly possible, and drove straight home knowing that one stop, even for milk, would be too much! I pulled up to the mailbox to get the mail.  I misjudged the distance and yes, now I can add another gouge to my poor Jeep.  It balances out the large dent made when I backed into the retaining wall! Both are on the left side of my vehicle further proving the doctor's theory of remaining "left side inattention"(caused by the massive rupture in my right side, it is like my brain 'forgets' my left side still exists, weird!).  I'd take a picture for you but I am still too upset at myself to laugh about it now! I am thankful for a gracious husband who takes it stride and jokes with me "now you really aren't getting a BMW * ".  I am just adding "character" to my beloved Jeep! Maybe when I feel more like a human and less like a zombie I will laugh about it (and if you are really lucky I'll even post a picture or two....)!
The other 'strange' reaction to this "crashing", as we like to call it, is that the bight sunshine makes me physically ill!  Dealing with lights/sun is always an issue for me and you will see me wearing sunglasses even when it is raining, or dusk.  When I have these "at the end of my rope" days, It makes me sick to my stomach and increases my anxiety level to have to go outside in this sunshine! I hate to admit it but I just stay inside with my curtains closed to avoid dealing with all that 'bright'. Don't even get me started about how hard it is to drive with all the blaring reflections of car windows and mirrors, it literally induces a panic attack!
* a BMW would NOT have caught on the mailbox, it would have nicely fit right under it....hehehe


Anonymous said...

Don't feel bad Lisa. Don't tell anyone but I backed Ellen's car into Dona's car a few years ago. Ellen's still has a dent too, and I paid to get Dona's fixed and painted. Not cheap, but I didn't want it on Ellen's insurance. I will show you sometime. It happens to all of us.



Loriann Champagne Smith said...


Just think, soon those gloomy, chilly days of November will barrel in, and cozy times with soup and a blanket will bless your soul. Maybe for you that's "sunshine". Love your blog...remember I met you at the library...We are walking a similar pilgrim road...