Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Ice, Ice Baby :)

This winter the whole Northeast seems to be covered in ice, I 'm sure the weekly snow storms don't help. To make a long, boring story short I have slipped and fallen on the ice twice this winter. I can't even remember ever slipping and falling on ice before, perhaps those are some of the memories that have been erased along the way! Anyway, yesterday as I am off to the doctor for my yearly physical I stepped out on our deck and didn't notice the thin layer of ice covering it. I took on step toward the stairs leading to the driveway and "BAM" total wipe out. Both times I have fallen this year the Lord has protected me from hitting my head. I will take the bruises any day over hitting my head! Even the thought terrifies me! I regained my composure and called Nate moral support. He, of course, got me to smile and off I went to the doctor. My appointment was at 2:45 and I sat until about 4 until I asked if I was forgotten about. by 4:45 I was at least out of the waiting room and in an exam room.



I thought it would be worth mentioning my spills on the ice this year. My doctor's response surprised me. It went something like.....well, I'm not surprised. Then something about the muscles not sending the right messages to the brain to help me' catch myself' due to the paralysis from years ago and lingering spasms from time to time. I had no idea. I thought she was just going to say 'Lisa, everyone slips and falls on the ice'. She suggested some 'ice climber clips' that would snap on to my shoes and allow me traction on the ice. Of course, my first thought was "great, another thing to think about every time I leave the house"! My friend at work teased my resistance to the ice clips by saying "what, you don't want to be an 80 year old women?" I appreciate her sense of humor!!!! So anyway, whether or not it has anything to really do with brain injury it is a way better excuse than what is likely the truth, I am an uncoordinated klutz :) I think I'll stick with the aneurysm excuse and be thankful I didn't hit my head!

On the bright side....the ice makes for some very nice photo opportunities.......










Tuesday, February 1, 2011

6 YEARS

Today marks 6 years since my aneurysm ruptured. More reflections to come after snow is shoveled!
Okay, So just got finished shoveling my stairs, a path to the door, and back part of the deck for the dogs. Then, I caved to the tight neck muscles and came inside to do laundry and sort my bathroom linen closet (after a nap, of course). I had a nice rest and moved on to my projects when I hear a little knock on my door. Thankfully, I have the presence of mind to grab some "real clothes" instead of answering the door in my long johns (progress from early recovery days, when I would not have even realized). At my door I find my favorite neighbor kids, armed with shovels, asking if they could shovel my deck. Of course, I totally 'let them' if they promised they would have hot chocolate and cookies with me after they were finished! Little Adam even laid on his belly and scraped in between the rungs on the railing while Jackie removed large amounts of snow, I was SO impressed AND THANKFUL for their help. It totally made my day! Even while shoveling snow I was so thankful I was here, alive and able, to shovel snow.
Of course, shoveling gives you lots of time to think and reflect on life. So, with the power lines humming in the distance, I had lots of time to think. I couldn't help but remember the sermon I heard Sunday. The 'pastor' relayed a story about experiencing "culture shock" after moving to a foreign country as a teenager. He recalled longing for something familiar. He scanned TV channels in hopes of finding someone speaking English or a glimpse of a culture he was familiar with. I could kind of relate to his story. I remember my feeling like a stranger to the world I now lived in. Of course, I was in a 'drug induced state of acceptance'. I'm not sure I even knew what I longed for. I just wanted life to go back to the way I remembered it!! A world where an aneurysm rupture was practically statistically impossible(given my age,non smoker, not over weight, and no family history), a world where the right middle cerebral artery was just another artery in my head, vasospasm was just a funny word, and where Heparin just sounded like a famous actress. A world where my left arm and hand weren't paralyzed and I knew how to walk without help. I think that over the last 6 years I now only faintly remember what life "used to be like". I am so thankful I married a man who has lived up to his vows and has stayed with me in sickness and in health. I love that I have family still who love and support me and friends who forgive my faults and love me anyway! What a truly blessed life I still have, I'm so thankful that 'world' never changed!! I am still learning that my limits are much different than they used to be or what people expect they should be after 6 years of recovery time. My neurosurgeons are still astounded at God's mercy on me (although they won't say it that way). When I question my continued, constant fatigue they can't believe that is my biggest complaint. The surgeon who is now assigned to my case and who worked on surgery 2 &3 says he would not expect me to be living a "fairly normal life". Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!
Thank you for sharing in my journey!
-a blessed girl-