Today marks 6 years since my aneurysm ruptured. More reflections to come after snow is shoveled!
Okay, So just got finished shoveling my stairs, a path to the door, and back part of the deck for the dogs. Then, I caved to the tight neck muscles and came inside to do laundry and sort my bathroom linen closet (after a nap, of course). I had a nice rest and moved on to my projects when I hear a little knock on my door. Thankfully, I have the presence of mind to grab some "real clothes" instead of answering the door in my long johns (progress from early recovery days, when I would not have even realized). At my door I find my favorite neighbor kids, armed with shovels, asking if they could shovel my deck. Of course, I totally 'let them' if they promised they would have hot chocolate and cookies with me after they were finished! Little Adam even laid on his belly and scraped in between the rungs on the railing while Jackie removed large amounts of snow, I was SO impressed AND THANKFUL for their help. It totally made my day! Even while shoveling snow I was so thankful I was here, alive and able, to shovel snow.
Of course, shoveling gives you lots of time to think and reflect on life. So, with the power lines humming in the distance, I had lots of time to think. I couldn't help but remember the sermon I heard Sunday. The 'pastor' relayed a story about experiencing "culture shock" after moving to a foreign country as a teenager. He recalled longing for something familiar. He scanned TV channels in hopes of finding someone speaking English or a glimpse of a culture he was familiar with. I could kind of relate to his story. I remember my feeling like a stranger to the world I now lived in. Of course, I was in a 'drug induced state of acceptance'. I'm not sure I even knew what I longed for. I just wanted life to go back to the way I remembered it!! A world where an aneurysm rupture was practically statistically impossible(given my age,non smoker, not over weight, and no family history), a world where the right middle cerebral artery was just another artery in my head, vasospasm was just a funny word, and where Heparin just sounded like a famous actress. A world where my left arm and hand weren't paralyzed and I knew how to walk without help. I think that over the last 6 years I now only faintly remember what life "used to be like". I am so thankful I married a man who has lived up to his vows and has stayed with me in sickness and in health. I love that I have family still who love and support me and friends who forgive my faults and love me anyway! What a truly blessed life I still have, I'm so thankful that 'world' never changed!! I am still learning that my limits are much different than they used to be or what people expect they should be after 6 years of recovery time. My neurosurgeons are still astounded at God's mercy on me (although they won't say it that way). When I question my continued, constant fatigue they can't believe that is my biggest complaint. The surgeon who is now assigned to my case and who worked on surgery 2 &3 says he would not expect me to be living a "fairly normal life". Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!
Thank you for sharing in my journey!
-a blessed girl-