Thursday, July 3, 2014

New Chapter and Saying Goodbye.............

Confession: I have waited two weeks before I could even imagine writing this without being completely consumed with tears! To ward off these tears I am currently typing with BOTH hands.  Using my left hand is taking so much concentration I literally I don't have an available brain cell left to cry!! Never mind, here are the tears!!! So here you go.........for yearS (yes, several actually) my hubby has been preparing me for this moment! What moment, you ask??? Why, saying goodbye to my 2000 Jeep Cherokee, of course! Now most people are happy to get a nicer, newer, more reliable, less rusted vehicle that has an Ipod or USB connection instead of a tape deck! Not me, but when have I ever been normal, ever????? Nope, not me! I 'bragged,' I still had a working tape desk (mostly because everyone thought I was ridiculous, and I knew I was. That's why it was fun) I used to play up how "classy" it was with the heated leather (pleather) seats and wood grain panels. I mean, really people, it was a Limited!!! With every roll of the eyes, it only fueled my ridiculous love for this silly vehicle! Let me tell you a little story; two years ago my hubby took me to a car dealership, just to look!  He found a car he liked and the sales guy was pushing hard to get it sold.  Papers were drawn up, prices negotiated then he went to look at our "trade-in." Upon returning he offered more than hubby had expected!  I however, burst into tears and told him I wasn't going to get another vehicle, I just couldn't do it.  The salesman points out that there is a check engine light on.  My tears only intensified as I informed him, I did know and it was just a "minor evap leak!" What hubby also knew was that he saw antifreeze in the oil indicating significant engine trouble in the near future!  I am picturing my beloved Jeep being sold for scrap, crushed and being sent on a barge with all the other "misfits"/junk cars. I was gone, no coming back now. Hubby saw that and knew me and he graciously fed me ice cream and took me home!  I convinced him to let my dad find a used engine and have someone he knew replace it for a good one! Against his better judgement, and out of love for his sensitive, crazy wife the engine was replaced! If it even lasted us 3 more months it would pay for itself (based on estimated car payments) Well, it lasted several more years! Of course, I used to tease my hubby that every time it starts, it is basically paying me!!! Hehehe. So we put what would have been our payment into savings for a nice down payment when it did eventually have to go! Of course, during this time I tried everything to convince my hubby to keep it as a "camp vehicle" or "winter beater." I think I almost had him convinced too, but eventually it did seem more reasonable to sell it while we could since lets face it, we aren't independently wealthy and really, it was time to let go, close a chapter of life and move on with the people in life that stuck with me and are all that truly matter! It served me well when I needed it!  The Lord used it to keep me safe as I drove down that steep bank, half alive, from a ruptured aneurysm.   I was sort of like my first car too because I relearned how to drive in it.  Since, I drove it a few years before the aneurysm it was familiar and therefore easier to drive in.  Driving meant restoration of freedom and "life like before: familiar." At that point I clung to anything familiar.  Familiar was a "life line" and hope for the restoration of some sort of "normalcy" which I so longed for!!!As silly as it sounds it was part of an "interim borrowed identity." I knew I drove a blue, lifted Jeep Cherokee, it didn't matter really but it was something I actually did know about myself.  It was concrete and easily visible and I was too tired for any further self discovery, at that point! Of course, there was that time very early on in recovery that I drove a very short distance to a store all by myself!  Obviously, still unaware I was living in 2005, I asked a store clerk where the blank tapes were, yes, like cassette tape! What I was going to do if I found one, no one will ever know.  But the poor clerk's reaction was priceless as I described a cassette tape because the word 'cassette' was lost!  He graciously told me he thought I was talking about a cassette tape and they hadn't sold them for YEARS.  Very confused I thanked him, after informing him my Jeep still had a player for them and it "wasn't that old". I still didn't totally believe him and still checked all the shelves I could before running out of energy! You just can't make this stuff up!!!!
So, long story short, the "For Sale" sign was placed in the windshield and placed at the end of our road. I cried every time I drove past it in my "new to me" Jeep(of course, it had to be) Wrangler.  There was no interest in it right away, and I have to admit, I was happy! Poor hubby just wanted it out of our driveway so he could stop talking about selling it while I tried to convince him to keep it!! I mean, sure we drove home from Maine with an electric fan that went bad and we couldn't stop for too long or it would start getting too close to overheating. Upon getting home without overheating, we discovered the gas tank at some point lost a strap holding it up and could have easily caused, a less than desirable, outcome! But, again the Lord protected us! When somebody finally (like a few days) was interested in buying it I made hubby go alone to show it!  He was totally honest with all the "used car" issues but miraculously the interested party still wanted it! I had to come out if my hiding spot in the house to hand off a needed paper!  This poor, kind guy introduces himself to me and what do I do????  Yup, BURST into tears.  Hubby had warned him and he just cringed and kept saying he was "sorry," then he told me he would "take good care of it for me!" That poor, kind man just needed a vehicle to get to work in (right around the corner from his house.) He needed it more than me now, so we sold it and I kept the memories!

Our first drives on the beach in OBX...............
Light sensitive "Casper" needs the shade on the beach so she doesn't burst into flames and melt! Jeep doesn't ask questions, Jeep undertands!!!


More beach explorations....

"Mr Fix it" at it again!

That large dent in the bumper where I backed right into the retaining wall of our house (it must have moved that day)

Once I got a little too close to the mailbox (spacial problems?? What spacial problems?? Left side inattention, nah.............)
The time we were at a surprise party and came out to find our window punched out for an old flip cell phone left in the cup holder......oops!!!

Maine to revisit our honeymoon destination.....


Hubby took me to the bank we went over and took some pictures for me
Don't think that anchor shirt wasn't planned "the anchor still holds" (In Christ alone my hope is found) and I drove away with my hubby, a miraclously intact marriage and at least one remaining brain cell! For better or worse, sickness and health!!! It is well.....................................

Bye Jeep, Thank you Jeep!!!



2 comments:

Gin G said...

Ah I understand more now what the Jeep meant to you. Hugging you from across the river. Gin

Anonymous said...

Hi Lisa-

I have always loved my cars like that too. When we sold the Avalon for the RAV 4, I didn't tell anyone, but I went back to the dealer and sat in the new car and stared at the poor old car in the beyond hope waiting for the crusher lot. I actually cried and said goodbye to it. Cars contain so many memories and we had that one for over 12 years. Just to let you know you aren't the only one who feels this way.
Love
Nan