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"Shadow of who I used to be" |
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FINALLY ready to go! |
In an effort to find "something I enjoy doing now," I strapped on my cross country skis for the first time in 8 years! I just, 'flat out', find things I 'used to like' VERY exhausting now instead of relaxing!! Of course, it hasn't snowed in a few years (like enough snow to 'play' in) so when I heard,1-2 feet of snow I was cautiously excited! I can usually tell when weather fronts are coming through, by the area on my head that was removed to do my clipping surgery. My head was not aching like it would for a big storm! I wanted it to snow so badly that I tried to deny my "head indicator" and looked forward to SNOW! It did end up snowing a few inches so I decided that, despite a "foggy brain day", I was going skiing, regardless! It only took me a hour to find everything I thought I needed then a half an hour to figure out how to put the leg guards on (I didn't want snow in my boots!). Unable to actually get my boot clipped in the ski by myself I found my hubby (whom I nicknamed 'Mr. Fixit' seriously the man fixes anything, except me. Believe me he has tried) I really was having a rough day, nothing was working together, N had already rescued me from a meltdown with our two labs and my camera! Now, I was determined to ski??? Being the good hubby that he is, he picks up my skis and listens to me begin to meltdown over getting my boot clipped in. Another hour and several, "I give up, I'm not doing this today", and the ice was cleared from my left ski allowing my boot to finally clip in despite the spastic left side, now cold and tired! Feeling very down I was just determined that it was going to be a disaster. N assured me I could do it and gave me instructions about where I should go, knowing I would have trouble figuring that out myself. We joked about the length of time he should wait before rescuing me. Still not confident I was capable of going, I took a picture of my shadow, determined it was "a shadow of who I used to be". Yes, this is how I get when I am exhausted and the enemy in my own head "attacks me". I did end up enjoying my little "outing" despite the rocky start to the adventure and if it ever snows again I will dig out the skis and enjoy the quiet while I try to balance! It was a much better experience than the bike riding I tried, for the first time again, this summer (I still have NO desire to bike in the near future).
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"Wired"....look at that tail! |
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"All the cool kids are doing it" hahaha |
Today I was 'hooked up' to an ambulatory EEG to monitor brain activity for 24 hours! Doctors are admittedly "overly cautious" due to the aneurysm history! So, I have wires sticking out of my head, "carefully disguised" in gauze and connected to a monitor, which is carried in a pack with me! Now, I have a strange sense of humor and debated walking around the mall like this, just because!! Thankfully for everyone else, I didn't have the energy to do it and decided I would just go home and blog and share my "craziness" with anyone brave enough to actually read my blog! I am not looking forward to the removal tomorrow! I have a feeling those electrodes are really stuck on there good by the smell of the glue!! I joked with the technician about "how much hair I have, that must be making her job fun". She laughed and said something like, "It really doesn't look like you have a lot if hair , but wow, when you get digging around to find a place to stick these things, I would say you really do have a lot". Since this wasn't my "first walk in the park with an EEG" I had a cute little knit hat with me to more cleverly disguise what you see in pictures, for other people's sake. I know before my aneurysm seeing someone walking around like this would have made me feel a little sick! Yes, I think WAY too much about everything, one of many flaws! Like sometimes this, too much thinking leads to things like; if I ever write a book, I think I will title it "Rediscovering (or Redefining) Lisa" Have a wonderful week all!!!!
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Yeah, those are going to leave a mark!! |
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