just ranting.............

Here is my "survivor rant" for the day! I find it very, very hard to tolerate the insignificant, petty things that people make into such a big deal!!! Perhaps, it is a job hazard of "working" in a library after living through 3 BRAIN SURGERIES AND  2 RUPTURED ANEURYSMS!!! I know it would NEVER be appropriate to yell "IT'S NOT BRAIN SURGERY PEOPLE", so of course I quietly try to ignore it (even though I know I will fixate on it for awhile).  Generally, I LOVE "working" at a library because of that same reason, at the end of the day, it really is "just a book" and any mistakes can usually be easily corrected without many bad consequences to others!!!! Of course, I recognize this happens everywhere in life! People just have to add drama to everything! And yes, sometimes small insignificant things bother me too, I'm not perfect! I am just saying that after surviving what I have and living every day with it's struggle, I'm just trying to do my best. I really don't think it matters if I reused your "staff pick" paper, really?? Is that all 'you' have to worry about, REALLY!!!!  Did 'you' really just snap at me over something this silly!  If I had known it bothered 'you' that much, I would have never reused it. In the future, I will just find a new piece of my own!!! So, after trying my hardest to hold it together, I failed and a meltdown took place.  I was tired after a 4 hour shift the tears just started to flow,( I still have no control of emotions when overly fatigued)!!  My very first ever meltdown at the library (amazing, really).  At the very least, I would expect to be told about it in a quiet, kind, gentle way; not right at the circulation desk for all to see and hear, and I don't even have a filter left on my brain! I am thankful for a wonderful and supportive supervisor and a great job coach to help me with the "angry librarian"!! I'm sure by the next time I "work" it will be "water under the bridge"; for me at least! *deep breath*  I have to consider the source (as my wise mother advised me) when thinking about this.  All that came to my mind, was that miserable Principal in Anne of Green Gables, Katherine Brooke; Yup, that should explain it all!!  Might I also add, that this is why I always loved teaching special education.  If find it much easier to understand these rude, socially inappropriate actions with people who either genuinely don't know better or truly can't help it. I have been kicked, bitten and even had things thrown at me without resorting to a puddle of tears, not to mention months in Neuro ICU with frontal lobe damage patients, I'm just saying!!  And, I 'secretly' love that when I tell my hubby about my day (hours later and still crying as I talk) he is ready to storm into the library and defend me, no questions asked!! Okay, thanks for letting me vent, I feel better now!! ;-)