laughing to myself about myself, again!

I had to just stop and laugh at myself the other day.  I was asked to present at this year's NYS Brain Injury Conference.  I was just SO honored to be asked I couldn't even stand myself.  I snapped into 'teacher mode' (yes, it is STILL buried deep in the depth of my fried brain.) I was asked probably in the middle of March. By the end of March I had a 15 minute "presentation" all laid out including a video of my story, handout, and a Power Point to go with my handout (I even lined up borrowing a projector from my dad)............the presentation is in June!! It wasn't until this week that I was actually able to speak with the person presenting with me.  He has spoken several times in the past, and together we decided "less is more".  I am going to scrap my Power Point!  I will still bring the handout and my computer if anyone wants to see my video and doesn't have computer access/knowledge.  After hanging up the phone, I had to laugh at how much has changed since my aneurysm.  Before, I was a "Last Minute Lisa".  Seriously, I was writing final papers at midnight, cramming before exams (working best under pressure).  It worked pretty well, I graduated from a private college with a 3.29 something GPA, definitely NOT amazing, but respectable, considering I always tried to make people and friendships more important than perfect grades!!  Not to mention, having a horrible headache every single day of college.  There were varying degrees of migraine, from convulsing and throwing up in pain, to just a constant headache that no medicine would even touch (and believe me I tried EVERYTHING legal). I don't know how I did it, perhaps it was just preparing me for the insane relentless fatigue I would live with now! As wretched as the debilitating fatigue, confusion and overall inability to cope is, I'll still take it over those headaches!!

Okay now back to my actual point; before TBI, I would not have even thought about the presentation til probably next week! That Lisa is LONG gone(the one that was a terrible procrastinator), I remember her but I can no longer identify with her.  I have to be 15 minutes early to everything allowing my brain proper time to "readjust and prepare," for whatever it is I am going to do!  No more getting up last minute and putting a hat on instead of taking a shower (that would totally ruin my whole day now!) If I wear a hat now to hide my hair, it is probably because I didn't have the energy to shower not that I didn't have time.  Most often, I wear a hat for the brim, to block the annoying amount of light searing my light sensitive eyes!!! Perhaps, this is just a result of natural 'maturity' but I prefer to blame it on my brain injury, since it changed drastically, in a single instant!!! :-) I am still glad that I went all "crazy lesson planner" since it has helped me prepare for a simpler presentation (so simple I will just share my story and have a handout of how it affects me daily, then answer questions, SIMPLE is such a relief) and has given me the opportunity to think through things which I think will make answering questions A LITTLE bit easier! I am so excited to be even a very small part of the conference this year!!