A Brain Aneurysm survivor learning that, “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
— E.M. Forester
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Determined To Paint!!!!!!!!!!!
Why on earth would it take two weeks to paint a tiny bathroom?? Before my aneurysm, I would have had it done start to finish in two days, tops! But, now EVERYTHING takes slow, deliberate planning.....EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have this list (I love making lists, they are like false control over something, anything really). So, I have this list that is labeled "When Energy......", and I put down all the things I'd like to do if I ever had the energy or mental concentration over like 5 minutes so I could actually complete something and get it off my list!! At work one day, I was telling my supervisor how every fall I have this urge to pack up all my belongings and go back to college. Maybe, it is my longing to function like I used to with some vague sense of "normal", this is not saying I could ever be defined as normal, but could usually function pretty normally (you get my point). Anyway, my supervisor said, maybe every fall I should start something new, like redecorate a room, or learn a new language (ha ha, how about mastering the one I already try to speak, as I constantly search for words when trying to communicate). SO, this year I looked at my 'list', the "When Energy" wish list. Although, I didn't feel particularly energetic I decided(was determined) I would tackle repainting our bathroom, anyway. It has been on my list since right after we moved in. Right after moving, I just took down the old 80s wall paper, filled in major holes and painted just to get it looking presentable to guests! It needed a lot of TLC!! So, I carefully wrote down all the steps I would need to do to complete the project then broke them down into what I thought were 'managable pieces'." Manageable pieces" were like, Spackle on one day, the next day sand and vacuum up as much dust as possible. Then repeat(there is one week), "taping around trim/doors" was one day followed by "painting the trim around doors,day" then there was the "get paint, day". OOPS....I just messed up the order again, just noticed while editing, you need to but paint before painting, should have looked back at my 'list'! Sequencing things still gets me, every time!!!! My 'lists' are always labeled with numbers for the order in which to do things. I make an ordered list each evening for the next day. As you can see, each step was one whole day's worth of energy for me, plus you need to factor in the days I was really just too tired to tackle anything!! On the "roll walls with paint, day", I stepped back and wasn't sure I liked the color I picked on "get paint, day" (don't worry, paint samples were hanging on my wall for over a year before that day, actually arrived) . I can't make a decision/compare and contrast to save my life. While this is probably more genetic than brain injury, I'll blame it on the injury!! By the end of, "roll walls with paint, day", I was so tired that I didn't even care what color it was, I was just glad it was done and I could check it off my "list"! Oh, and I was so tired that I had ABSOLUTELY NO desire, what-so-ever, to go back to college....MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!! Here are some "quick" before and after pictures.....I still need to accessorize and put up our mirror over the sink in the 'after shot'!
Before..."Manhattan Mist" blue/purple color
After... "Ocean Pearl" a light 'seafoam', sage green color