Wednesday, December 1, 2010

One of those days.................

Today is one of those days when I seem to be extra slow and rather disoriented. Must be some sort of reverse "Midas Touch" where it feels like anything you touch just crumbles instead of turning to gold!! These days sort of sneak up on me and I feel like it is impossible to stay encouraged and keep a smile on my face. I once heard it said, "You never see bad days in a photo album, but it is these days that get us from one happy snapshot to the next."- Unknown I think this is usually true and I know from experience that at the time we don't want a visual reminder of 'bad days'. When I was in the hospital after my aneurysm rupture my parents wanted to take pictures so I could later see how far I had come.The thought of having to remember that horrible time in my life horrifed me and I refused to let them take "too many pictures". I thought if everyone just ignored it and pretended it didn't happen then maybe life could just go 'back to normal'. I hated that my life was going to drastically change and I hated that it wasn't 'just a bad dream'. In my drugged, damaged state I really thought if I just denied it enough times it wouldn't be true. Now I realize my family was right, I should have let them document more of the 'bad days' because they are now part of what makes me the person I am today! Even still there are 'bad days'.Days when I don't take a shower because I simply don't have energy. Days when I just wear the same thing I did yesterday so I don't have to make one more decision about the day. Sure there are days that I back into a stationary retaining wall that I know is there. These are all pictures I will spare you from. But, even if I burned dinner, again, because I forgot it in the oven, AGAIN I am reminded of the 'happy snapshots' to come and I am thankful that being alive also means all these silly mistakes that I choose not to put in my photo album. So I will leave you will my 'happy shots' from last week!












4 comments:

Kristina said...

Seriously, Lisa. Your writing always brings me to tears. Thank you so much for sharing your story and I feel blessed to know you!
So glad you had a happy Thanksgiving and who are those adorable children? ;-) Thanks again...

mamabear said...

Liserrrrr.... I am soo proud of everything u have accomplished. You are a beautiful person inside and out.. You always have been. I only wish that i had half of your awesome strength.. You have proven to be the strongest young woman and friend i know.. I love u dearly and know that i always have and always will. You are always smiling and u brighten a room.. I feel bad that i cant see u very often but life doesnt give us much time to spare before we go on to our next hurdle.. Take care and know that i will always look up to u as a wonderful beautiful friend..love u girl and your family is a wonderful bunch to inspire anyone.. ..love u.. Deb Taylor

Anonymous said...

thanks for sharing lisa, you have come a long way and are a blessing to those of us who know you.

Anonymous said...

Lisa, your statement about the happy shots to hide the in between times really inspired me. I know it is an up and down road and I am glad you shared both times with us here. I will share this with my survivor husband and read it to him. You will inspire him as well. Keep sharing! It is nice to see your Happy Thanksgiving and lovely family. Ginger
(Caregiver) gettingafoothold.blogspot.com