Here is a post I found went unpublished until now.....................................................
At the funeral of a very dear man his children (and step children) said of him, "Dad (Pops) always showed up." These simple words were profound to me. It was true. He did always show up not just for his children but as a general rule of how he lived his life. I am blessed to not only have a mother and father I can also say this about but my sister, aunts and uncles and cousins. It is a family trait I am so very fond of. It would only be later in life that I would learn this is not the "normal" for many people.
I also sat there realizing this was no longer a reality in my life. I still struggle with my energy level and have very different limits than most people my age. My heart wants to be the one who, 'always shows up' but my brain limits me in very profound ways. I find myself feeling like I need to explain this to people more than ever these days. Since it's been 15 years and I can function pretty well most days, even people closest to me forget or get tired of my limitations. I AM NOT MAKING THEM UP AND I AM NOT USING THEM AS A CRUTCH. Honestly, I have grown very irritated by being told how I feel at any given moment. I'm pretty good at understanding my limits most times. They are still very real and I need to take care of my own mental state. I am frustrated every time I push too much and crash or get an anxiety producing migraine aura. I don't want my body to tell me to stop, I'd rather pace myself and survive!
So, I am thankful for everyone who has shown up for me. I am thankful for the example my family has set and continues to live out and I will show up every sing time I can. This is real post aneurysm life. But, we are here to live it. Keep on keeping on!
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| Photo taken by me! |
2 comments:
Always love your comments and good to hear from you. You and your family are terrific, you are blessed. Your cardinal photo is a beauty!
Love,
Nan
God works in so many different ways in people's lives... My husband's TBI was May 7, 2019. He has made amazing progress, but we don't know what the future will bring. I don't dwell on that because I don't have control over what comes. We do the best we can, I have greatly strengthened my patience "muscle" (which was pretty weak before) but I'm not perfect, either. I often have trouble following his train of thought and, since we are both senior citizens, the mind immediately jumps to the prospect of dementia--either his or mine! (My chances have always been somewhat high, and we don't talk about the fact that his have jumped way up there with the TBI.) His fatigue had not been very noticeable in the last few months, but after working outside in the snow yesterday, he took a long nap at suppertime and still went to bed at the usual time.
I'm wandering here...I love your cardinal photo. The birds have been a real blessing during this "year of the plague" and the male cardinal was lording it over the feeder as I type.
Peace-keeper is my preferred stance, not necessarily a healthy one. Truth with love is probably better (well, I know it is) but by the time I am desperate enough to speak, the love is not going to be noticed. I wonder why it isn't socially acceptable to paste a warning label on the forehead and be able to trust people to adapt or get out of the way?! People want to fix the unfixable and aren't comfortable with working around it. It would be nice if people one day learn how rude it is to tell someone how they feel! I am not holding my breath...
Thank you for sharing and reminding me that these roads are being traveled by so many people who are traveling so many different paths. God bless you and your family.
Florence
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