Blessed are.....

The "crack" in my head

      Bear with me as I obsess over my new favorite quote and attempt to blend a post I never published into this one post, "Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light."  I'm sure it is obvious why this made me smile.  For starters, if you ran a finger down the right side of my forehead you can literally feel a "crack" where my skull was removed and replaced. Cracked things go back together and can look pretty "normal" once pieced back together but no matter how well you adhere it it never is exactly the same as it was before the crack. And, the nerves along this crack never heal exactly the same and have a way of reminding you they have been cut.  It is this funny tingle/water running down your face feeling even as I type this!!! March is[now WAS] Brain Injury Awareness Month (Ooops...it's now May, oh well it "fell through the cracks").  So, no matter how normal I look or act at times the crack is still there. It is a struggle to 'hold it all together.' I feel the crack every single day. However, I am determined that my crack/TBI/aneurysm also lets in light. It allows me time and space to take life at a slower pace and forces me to trust God daily in everything.
 Matthew 5:16 says,"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.
     Blessed are the cracked, even if they aren't using their college degree?? Can you tell which struggle I l am still working through?? Perhaps it is one of the 'hazzards' of going to a small, private, highly esteemed college. Whenever I am talking to anyone with a connection to the college, the first question in polite conversation is usually, "So, how are you using your degree?" I can read our alumni milieu and learn of all the amazing things that fellow graduates are doing. I am truly amazed at their accomplishments and how God is using them in some pretty amazing ways.  In college, I was wound pretty tight. I stressed about everything. Our little school seemed to foster this personality so I fit right in! When you spend the kind of money my parents funded for a first rate education it is sort of expected you will go on to get a good job or dedicate your life to mission work in far off lands. I never considered that my education would instead, be the building block to relearning how to walk, talk, read, write, cook and just about everything for daily living.  I expected to finish my masters degree while I substitute taught then find a teaching job. You see when you give your life to Christ at an early age and seek to live your life accordingly you are not promised the life you saw for yourself.  He knows what is better even when it really disrupts your vision.  So, you may not see my story in our little Milieu but I promise you I am using my degree every day, God's way! I haven't mastered scholar servanthood yet.  I most likely won't be asked to speak at chapel or featured as a "success story" but that's okay.  I'll just continue plugging away in my quiet little life and cheer on my fellow graduates, those who's story about how they use their degree is much more impressive than mine! Here's to those using their degree in "less visible" ways! If we are surrendered to God's will, then isn't that exactly where we were taught to be?