My mom had major surgery Monday and I "made" her come to Albany to have it with a really good doctor, that I also happen to go to. Anyway, my sister is much better at the hospital thing, since she is a nurse and knows exactly what to ask and how to offer help. Plus, she is way less spastic about such things than me! Anyway, I volunteered to watch my niece Brylee (2 years) while she went to the hospital with my dad. Kristin stayed in the morning and let me sleep til my usual 9 am, bless her heart! By noon, I was literally pleading with the Lord to allow Brylee to take a nap. He answered my prayers, I was so tired and I didn't dare move and risk waking her up so I dozed off for the hour Brylee did. With all that being said, I realized why God designed a family with a mother and father. By the time poor Nate came home I had no dinner plans and could hardly put sentences together, my balance was horrible and I was totally spent!
Nate took Brylee for a walk to get the mail (again) to so I could have a few minutes to regroup without a total mental meltdown! Don't get me wrong, I loved every minute I had with Brylee but I am sure God knew what he was doing by not giving us children, it is 5 years later and I still couldn't handle it every day! I have a total peace about it and have always lacked any desire to have children. I have always thought adopting would be the way to go if I was ever given the opportunity! I always feel like I have to justify this to well meaning people though! I also learned a bit about when the Bible talks about "faith like a child". Brylee is going through a phase where she is scared of running cars. While taking her for a "walk" to the mail box, for the first time that day, she heard the engine of a large dump truck in the distance. She couldn't see it but she knew it was there and wasn't sure when or if it would even appear. She immediately grabbed my leg and said "TT up"(TT is my nick name short for Auntie). I picked her up and assured her it was going to be ok "TT has you now". She was immediately calm and we got the mail, then we even walked to the edge of the woods and watched as dirt was loaded into the truck. She had no fear in my arms. It reminded me of how it is with our Heavenly Father. Brylee felt safe in my arms even though I had no power to really protect her from her feared truck, other than moving out of its way! Our Heavenly Father has infinitely more power to protect us when we run, freighted, into His arms! Perhaps trust like a child is part of "faith like a child". Even an exhausted TT was happy to carry weary Brylee up that long driveway, how much further our Heavenly Father will carry us when we are weary and scared!!