Fast forward to adulthood. I was married and living in a second story apartment, no trick or treaters. But, I was getting closer! We soon purchased our starter house and when October 31 rolled around it seemed like we lived in a prime trick or treating community. However, we spent that evening with every shade and curtain drawn shut and the lights out except for the dim glow of our television which was debated even turning on lest anyone think we might be home. Mookie, our dog, spent the evening barking at all the funny kids walking by, having the time of her life, as my heart silently broke. That is not the actual point of this blog though so moving on.
Each year, at the library where I work, the 'story time' children dress up during Halloween week and trick or treat around the library. I never really had any fun with it until this year when I pulled out some bat leggings and a matching shirt I found on clearance last year. I got myself a bat wings headband and decided since I worked at a library and it was a story time parade I would be Stellaluna (not just any old bat, a bat with a purpose). I even checked the book out (Stellaluna by Janell Cannon) and had it sitting on my desk in case anyone was interested in checking it out. Apparently, as always, my nerd side kicked in and I was the only one excited about the book. I totally didn't care, I was living the dream, handing out fruit snacks, dressed as a bat, promoting literacy on Halloween.
But, let me tell you why I chose Stellaluna. Of course, I had "bat-wear" I wanted to sport but, I also truly do love the story of Stellaluna. It is about a fruit bat and her mother. One night, they were attacked by an owl and mother bat's wings became too tired after fending off the owl to hold Stellaluna and she dropped from her mother's protection. She landed on a tiny branch. Hanging upside down for as long as she could she finally became too tired and dropped. She dropped right into a bird's nest. Not knowing what to do she climbed out of the nest and hung upside down from it while the other birds sat chirping for food. Stellaluna thought the idea of eating grasshoppers was revolting but finally out of desperation she ate what the mother bird fed her.
The baby birds became curious of Stellaluna and tried hanging upside down from the nest too. When their mother returned home she scolded them for behaving that way and told them that was not what birds did. If Stellaluna wished to remain, she too would have to act like a 'real bird', staying awake in the day, sleeping at night, sitting up and eating grasshoppers. Without options Stellaluna did as mother bird told her and acted like a 'good bird'. When the birds were grown and the nest was too crowded, mother bird told them it was time they learned to fly. As she let them go, they discovered indeed they could fly. Stellaluna could too, although she quickly learned she couldn't land gracefully on her feet like the other birds. She was determined to practice all day. The other birds became tired but Stellaluna was determined and continued on without them.
That night Stellaluna found a branch and fell asleep, hanging from her 'hands' not her feet. She awoke to a voice asking her why she was upside down. Confused the other bat explained that bats slept hanging from their feet so she was actually sleeping upside down. More bats gathered in awe. Stellaluna told them her story and one bat began to question the events of her life. The older bat quickly realized it was Stellaluna, her child. She quickly began to teach her all the ways of a fruit bat. One day Stellaluna went back to the nest she had landed in. She found her bird friends and insisted they come meet her bat family. The birds tried to fly at night with the bats but, of course, failed miserably, this time needing Stellaluna to save them! In the end, they decided they were very different but they were most certainly still friends.
My childhood seemed more like the safe nest of the birds that cared for Stellaluna. While adulthood, I can more readily relate to being Stellaluna. Being dropped into a similar yet unfamiliar world. Both before and after my aneurysm. What I really needed to do was be given the chance to "leave the nest" and find out I could actually fly with hubby by my side, of course!! Life dropped me in a good place, it just wasn't where I was meant to fit. It would begin to feel too crowded. Flying to something better, something that fit me, the me I was created for, was how it had to be. Before my aneurysm I felt forced into a world of a crowded nest eating grasshoppers, staying there because I didn't think I had a choice. Sure I survived it, although it left me with a terrible taste in my mouth. Not to worry, my aneurysm would force me out of the nest and leave me literally relearning how to live. Things were different now and I could never go back to the nest I didn't belong in. So now I've "found my place in the world" but it doesn't mean I have to leave the others all behind, I am different, life is different. We can think it is such a mystery that we are so much alike and so different too, as Stellaluna and her bird friends discovered. But, we can know for sure we are still friends, a part of each other. And, it's okay that hubby and I fly together in our own uncrowded nest. Each bringing what is ours and leaving the rest.
