Friday, July 6, 2018

Dear Younger Me,

Yesterday I drove past a few key places for me as I began life here after college.  If you know me, I'm always thinking, analyzing.  This can be good but as anything can also be a big downfall.  Also, if you know me at all you know I am fascinated with psychology and people; how they think, why they do what they do. So, yesterday I drove past the road of our first apartment, past the district office of the first school I taught in all on the way to visit a brain bleed survivor and his mom at the Rehabilitation hospital I went to after my own aneurysm.  What an emotional day.  And, if you know me I love those movies/stories where a ghost brings someone to their past and shows them a new perspective of what was going on or of what it could have been like without them.  Now, don't get all bent out of shape here.  I believe everything happens for a reason and it is as it should be. God uses us just where we are. But, the idea fascinates me.  I recently watched a movie on Netflix that I didn't particularly love but, there was one scene where the character picked up a phone and pretended to call his younger self and give him advice.  I loved it! So, here you go.....

Dear younger me, 
  I have rewritten this now several times.  Yup, You are still a bit of an over-achieving perfectionist who knows it won't ever be perfect.  Let it go (advice from your sister!) There is a whole song about it now, it's a thing so let it go!

Create healthy boundaries.  You have never been good at this.  Do it early and be honest with people when they overstep their boundaries.  Be nice and do it with tact, because that is who you are, but please listen to me, you bottle things up until the explode in your own head.  By then the damage is done and you are angry.  SO, even if your boundaries seem pretty obvious, set them anyway because what is obvious to you and everyone else you know may not be obvious to the people you are now around most often.  BOUNDARIES are your friends be kind when dealing with them.

Find something you are passionate about and do it even if it puts you a little behind.  Get that Masters in sign language!  Get your Masters Degree. Just get it done(ignore those who discourage you), you won't have five years to do it, but don't worry about that, it's going to be okay! PS- right now you are sweaty, shaky and finding it hard to breathe.  You are dizzy and feel the need to remove yourself from the room you are in.  People are talking, you have no idea what they are saying. It's called a panic attack, get help for them!!!

The older you get the more you will realize you don't always let people get to know you, what you are really thinking or doing.  At reunions your high school friends will have no idea what your husband is talking about.  When he jokes with them and lovingly asks why they never  warned him of some of these personality flaws they will honestly say they never knew, you hid it so well! Don't despair, your college roommates and friends will know you much better, so I'd consider that growth.

 Never take anything for granted and keep fighting the good fight!

PS- I am going to hit publish without revising, get over it younger teacher self.....hehehe

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