visiting and other random things!

I had an appointment yesterday with an ENT.  That morning I had already tried to take my glasses off when I woke up instead of putting them on.  I should have known it would be "that kind of day", the foggy brain day!! While this should probably stop me from living life that day; it never does, I usually just try to be extra cautious  and do the things I need to get done, as well as I can!! I made it to the ENT (new doctor for me), I was feeling ok , so I decided to visit my dear friend who was back in the hospital with heart related issues.  Now I have been to this hospital several times.  I parked and after a confusing ride on the elevator (don't ask) made my way toward the hospital.  The hospital is doing some renovations, great, new things are SO hard to "adjust" to, but I was determined to spend some time with my friend !!!!  I found the ER entrance and asked the girl sitting at the desk which room "M" was in.  She looked up the name and told me room 32 then quickly rattled off a series of right/left turns.  Usually, I have no shame and I ask for clarification or for a repeat of the directions, by rattling off the part of the dirction I actually got (which is usually only the first two commands).  However, on this particular day I got her first direction and decided "I'd probably just see the ER once I got in the hall".  I was wrong....at the end of the hall I decided to ask a transport person where to go.  He directed me to the third floor in very broken English (there was a point in time when I would have rudely corrected his incomplete sentences-not realizing it was rude, of course-,but this time I just said, "thank you" and was on my way, ah sweet growth!!!!). I had a feeling his directions or my translation of them were not right. When I got to the' labor and delivery floor' I knew I was in the wrong place. I got out of there just as fast as I could and traced my steps back to the ER hallway.  The same girl was sitting at the desk.  I asked her for the directions again, but this time asked her if she could say it slowly (poor girl).  Seeing my obvious confusion, she walked me to the hall and pointed out the 'double doors' she had apparently told me about earlier with her left/right commands.  I took a deep breath and went to the double doors labeled as "Authorized Personnel Only".  I take these things VERY literally these days but decided to enter anyway, since the girl that gave me the directions was nodding her head.  Upon entering, I found my friend with a little help from a kind nurse! My friend had just been released, since I took so much time wandering aimlessly in the hospital.  My head was in such a knot now, I felt like I needed to spin the other way and start over again! As I walked out with my friend and her hubby we passed an elderly woman clinging to a door in order to not fall down.  I just raced by so focused on the act of walking I didn't even notice this poor woman.  My gracious friend noticed her and stopped to help her!!  She found her a wheelchair while her husband found a nurse that may know where this women needed to be! I just stood frozen still trying to figure out how exactly I had gotten there!!! I was so humbled by this act of kindness and I wondered, how many times a day am I so focused on my own problems/daily activities that  I walk right past people who I could have stopped to help?? Clearly, I'm not going to give directions since right/left confuse me.  But, I could get this lady a chair to sit in or even just noticed her clinging to a door!
    To make a long story short, the visit ended with my gracious friends driving me around the parking garage to find my Jeep, whose exact location was a bit foggy, despite the photo I took of the floor I parked on.  The Jeep was found and we had a nice lunch together (I followed them to the restaurant, since I was clearly having a foggy day)
   The very next day, I went to a dentist appointment.  After coming home Nate was teasing about my "dirty Jeep" from driving it in the rain.  I look at him and insisted that I "didn't go ANYWHERE today".  He gives me a "seriously" look.  I insist, I stayed home, then it suddenly dawned on me, I went to the dentist earlier, DUH!!! This is one reason why 'small talk' about my day/week is so frustrating!!! It certainly takes me a few/several minutes to pull up those files in my mind!!
   So, there are my random thoughts for the day!!

Christmas festivities

        Since my aneurysm, I just "brace myself" for the Christmas season, I didn't even have the energy to think or write about it until now, after a few days of quiet and sleeping. And, I confess all my shopping was done online at Amazon.com.  I can't even imagine venturing out to a crazy, busy store.  Between decorating the house, planning a large meal for Christmas at our house with Nate's family, then packing for a trip to my sister's house to celebrate a second Christmas with them, I completely depleted my resources.  I usually live, a very quiet structured life to cope with my new limits/disabilities. You can only imagine the fatigue and confusion that accompanies me around Christmas time.  It all seems worth it when I look back and see pictures of making snow angels, shoveling snow, eating snow (not yellow snow!!) and yes, even surfing in the snow!!!

There was mixing up scones for a

TEA PARTY with "TT" (yes, I am TT, short for 'Auntie'),

 playing "peek a boo" with brother B,

Celebrating  "Uncle Natey's" birthday,

and, of course, there were GIFTS of the material kind.

Amazingly, there was still energy for B to pretend she was a rock star,

and then, "TT" just need a 'silent night' (hahaha)

So, I guess the weeks of recovery will all be worth it and by next Christmas they will all just become cherished memories as I do it all over again, Lord willing!

More of my 'weirdness'

Ever since my aneurysm, you know I get easily confused about the simplest things! So here is something I just thought I'd mention for those who find these things fascinating (like I used to, but now the fascinating is just daily life).  I have a terrible time with the numbers 6 and 4.  My brain pretty much uses them interchangeably when it comes to new information.  So, if I am trying to remember a number (that is NOT in my 'long-term, pre-aneurysm brain' already), I pretty much never know if I have it right or not involving numbers 6 or 4.  So weird, at least if I really focus hard on it, and reason through i,t I can usually get it right.  When taking down library numbers over the phone I usually have to have a person repeat the number at least twice before I can focus enough to get the numbers correct; it makes me feel so silly sometimes! The one thing that even when thinking about it I don't always get correct, is my right and my left.  You would think that a spastic left side or the chronic ache from a few craniotomies on the right side would be a pretty obvious clue, but nope!  It is pretty much a 50/50 chance of getting it right every time! Oh the joys of being me :-) I am thankful that my faith tells me, I am "fearfully and wonderfully made"

Life in the S L O W lane!

 I try to just be amused at the things that "no longer occur to me".  For example, I was making cookie frosting for Nate last week.  I only had about half the amount of sugar I needed to make the full recipe.  Naturally, I decided to just cut the recipe in half, that should be simple enough, right??? Well, I actually managed the second grade math, for the first few ingredients, but then somewhere in the middle I simply forgot I was cutting the recipe in half.  The result: very runny, very almond 'extracty' cookie frosting.  It actually was pretty funny and mildly edible.  Next time, I will write down all the 1/2 measurements and only look at those numbers! We live and we learn!!!

The next day I was much less amused when I looked for my GPS holder before visiting a dear friend.  I really tore my Jeep apart, knowing it just HAD to be with the actual GPS unit!  After stopping what I was doing for a second and taking a deep breath (I was getting very frusterated, very quickly) I flipped the GPS unit over and guess what was already attached?? Yup, you guessed it, the GPS holder for my window.  At least I found my multiple extra sunglasses (I can't live without sunglasses outside, and see at least). I also now have a 'cleaned out' console and glove compartment!!  Just when I thought I could not be any less amused, I came home from a wonderful day with my friend.  I opened up my fridge and there right in front of me was the jar of garlic I couldn't find the night before.  I was exhausted the previous night and I knew it was there but just didn't see it.  So, I am laughing about it now and giving myself a little credit for at least trying.  Trying to make frosting from scratch, trying to make food that didn't come frozen in a bag, and trying to overcome my hermit like tendencies by visiting a friend!!

Do You Trust Me??

One of my favorite scenes from a movie is the one below where Aladdin says "do you trust me?" then stretches out his hand to offer help.  It just makes my heart melt a little every time I watch it. 

Last night, I was fighting off a migraine and feeling very restless over the report of a 16 year old girl we know being found unconscious  in her bed when her parents went to wake her up for church.  I prayed for this family and tried to push my own migraine anxieties out of my mind.  As I lay there doing my deep breathing exercises, I heard those words running trough my mind, "Do You Trust Me??".  I knew it was a still quiet voice from the Lord reminding me for the millionth time HE alone is in control of all things, all the time! Silly me, I was looking at things like Jasmine, "is it safe??", I wanted to know.  You see 'magic carpet rides' defy human logic and reason.  We can not be assured of their safety, we just have to trust.  Our sermon this Sunday then popped into my mind (as it always does in the week that follows it).  Our pastor, talked about fully surrendering ALL areas in our life to Jesus, often times our own personal struggles are just areas of our lives we have not fully surrendered, and so a quiet voice in me said "yes, I trust you" and I drifted off to a restful sleep!!

Aladdin - Do You Trust Me?

Olympics

If the Special Olympics had a brain injury division, I think it would have events like "making spaghetti for dinner" or "grocery shopping".  These would all be classified, not as sports like "skiing" or "ice skating", but instead, "things you all take for granted".  That just sounded like a game show, right?? Yes, these tasks feel like Olympic events every single day.  For example, tonight I went to make spaghetti with frozen Texas Toast.  Do you know I went down stairs two times to get the toast and both times I came up without it.  I did however, switch the laundry and get clothes out of the dryer but, NO TOAST for dinner.   Frustrated, I resorted to asking Nate to go get it for me!  I would have lost in that event, unless it was a relay!! What I should have done was write it on a piece of paper and carry it with me so when I got distracted the paper might remind me, oh well!Oh and I almost forgot the "answer a phone survey" event! Last night, I answered our house phone (I usually don't, but I was waiting for a doctor office to call back and sometimes the caller ID isn't very specific) The women on the other end asked for a male in the house old enough to vote.  "He can't speak with you right now", I said.  Before I knew it she had engaged me in the survey instead.  After 9 minutes of "rate this and rate that", on some unusual scale of 1-7 I stopped her and said, "I gotta be honest, I am just making up numbers, my brain is so tired I have no idea what you are talking about".  I then asked her how many more questions there were; she didn't know.  She could only tell me the survey usually takes 17 minutes and I had only 'endured' 9 minutes of it.  Out of annoyed exhaustion, I simply told her I was no longer going to continue with this 'pointless survey'.  I knew I needed to save some brainpower for making dinner (Olympic event #2 of the evening)  She wanted to call me the next day to finish, but I think she realized how pointless it would be and moved on to bigger and better things to annoy other people with!! I already had my mind set on not answering the phone anyway!!! Have a great weekend everyone!!  :-)